singles

Most single, never-married Christian men and women are not abstaining from sex, according to a new study from Communio, a national nonprofit organization.

There is a good reason the Church doesn’t talk about sex to singles very often. The Bible is clear that sex is an act exclusively meant for married people and talking about it too much to singles can cause unnecessary stumbling blocks or discontentment. But the Bible is also clear that sex is a beautiful, God-given gift.

For singles to not talk or think about sex for so long, then eventually get married and immediately be expected to welcome sex as a significant part of their lives, can be very damaging. The Church can easily do more to prepare singles for marriage and even use the topic of God-designed sex to encourage singles, regardless of if they ever marry.

Here are three consequences that I’ve seen from the Church seldom mentioning sex unless it’s in a negative light:

I am 27, dating for the first time in the Kingdom, and if I could boil down the relationship advice I received before I started dating, it would be this: "Don't have sex before you're married." And I'm not saying that purity isn't essential. But I am saying that there is so much more to healthy relationships other than physical purity. And now that I've been dating a wonderful man for 11 months and have picked up a thing or two in the mess of figuring it out on our own, I want to draw our attention to 3 things that I wish I was taught about dating, besides purity:

What if the church has a role to play in creating contexts for relational connections, even romantic ones? What if the current relationship dearth being filled by apps could be filled by Christian matchmaking communities instead?

The fundamental assumptions of a Christian worldview are straightforward. Applying the fundamental truth of a Christian worldview, particularly in this cultural moment, is not so straightforward. For example, this past week we heard from a single woman wrestling with whether or not to go through with an international adoption.

Despite our ever-greater mobility and even more efficient connectivity, sociologists continue to note that Americans struggle to form lasting, fulfilling relationships of all kinds, but especially marriages. We face a very real epidemic of loneliness, one that is, not coincidentally, accompanied by a steady decline in marriage.

Though complete and utter unity in the church will only be realized in heaven, there are goals to strive for while we are here on this earth. By breaking down walls and sharing burdens the church can continue healing.

Valentine’s Day can be hard on singles. In all the commotion though, never forget that Jesus loves you.

There’s nothing worse than coming home for Christmas only to be met with persistent questions about why you haven’t “found someone” or hear that someone knows “the sweetest girl” in her church choir.

Children are a big game-changer for most friendships. While this can be difficult for Christian singles, it’s important we learn to love our friends as they start their journey into parenthood.