Jamie “The Very Worst Missionary” is worried for Mommy Bloggers. A mother of grown children herself, she didn’t have blogs, Instagram, and Pinterest during her early motherhood years.
“Life is good,” she writes.
“And some of these Mamas are working overtime to make it look even better. I don't know how they do it. It honestly looks exhausting.”
The perpetual Facebook feed of picture-perfect-mommy-moments has got her thinking:
“Mom and Pop bloggers have changed the culture of child-rearing and opened up a world of resources for other parents. I honestly believe that today's parents are more informed, more educated, and hopefully more encouraged than we were, back in the day, when I began the journey of parenthood…
I love that.
But still, I worry.
I worry because every last one of these darling, finger-painting, nap-loving, veggie eating babies are growing up fast. Soon they'll be awkward middle school dwellers, then they'll be high school haters. They will drive cars and get jobs.”
Parents, Jamie reminds us, will eventually start losing control of their Pinterest-perfect kids. Eventually their struggles and their day-to-day decisions won’t be Facebook-feed material. In this phase where control slips through their fingers, that’s when real-life relationships become the place for sharing about all the trials and tears of middle and high school.
Cortni Marrazzo recently found herself in a place where she’s Out of Control and Loving It. Like many of the Mommy Bloggers on Jamie’s feed, Cortni admits:
“I’m the type of person who is typically most comfortable when I’m in control of situations, or at least when I know all the details of what is going to happen, as well as when, why, how... If I’m put in an unknown situation and there is nothing I can do to change it or figure it out, my personality is the type to get pretty stressed and uneasy.”
Cortni admits to being a perpetual pre-planner, with specific ideas of how to incorporate a spouse, kids, and even the perfect dream house into her life. She’s had to learn the hard way to hold such dreams loosely, and ultimately trust God for her provision.
“I have found myself wanting guys I was dating (or simply attracted to) to be the one I would marry, and all but one of them weren’t. I have found myself wanting to be at a job I had for a long time because I loved it so much, yet ended up being let go and having to start a new job search… I wanted to conceive my first child right away and I wanted it to be a girl, but it took almost a year and he ended up being a boy. The situations were numerous, but my struggle remained the same: I wanted something to happen, and God had a different plan. While I had to go through the pain of my broken dreams and desires at those times, in hindsight I can see in each situation how God really did have better plans for me and that these ‘letdowns’ were just a means to build my faith in him and to help grow me as a person.”
What about you? How have your parenting habits, and your outlook, changed as your kids have grown? What has God taught you letting go of control, and learning to trust him? Leave a comment below!
Debbie Holloway is the Family Life Editor for Crosswalk.com.
Publication date: April 9, 2014