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The 'Best' Religious Joke

Dr. James Emery White | Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary | Monday, July 9, 2012

The 'Best' Religious Joke

GQ Magazine once highlighted the greatest jokes. One was religious in nature.

Here it is:

Comedian Emo Philips tells of walking across a bridge and seeing a man standing on the edge, ready to jump off. He ran over and said, “Stop!  Don’t do it!”

“Why shouldn’t I?” he said.

“Well, there’s so much to live for.”

“Like what?”

“Well, are you religious?”

He said, “Yes.”

I said, “Me too! Are you Christian or Buddhist?”


“Me too!  Are you Catholic or Protestant?”


“Me too! Are you Episcopalian or Baptist?”


“Wow, me too! Are you Baptist Church of God or Baptist Church of the Lord?”

“Baptist Church of God!”

“Me too! Are you original Baptist Church of God or Reformed Baptist Church of God?”

“Reformed Baptist Church of God!”

“Me too! Are you Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1879, or Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1915?”

His new friend replied, “Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1915.”

To which Philips replied, “Die, heretic!,” and he pushed him off.

Funny? Yes.  

But only because it’s so often sadly, tragically, true of our spirit.

James Emery White



As cited by GQ Magazine, June 1999; see also

Editor’s Note

James Emery White is the founding and senior pastor of Mecklenburg Community Church in Charlotte, N.C., and the ranked adjunctive professor of theology and culture at Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary, which he also served as their fourth president. His newly released book is A Traveler's Guide to the Kingdom: Journeying through the Christian Life (InterVarsity Press). To enjoy a free subscription to the Church and Culture blog, log on to, where you can post your comments on this blog, view past blogs in our archive and read the latest church and culture news from around the world. Follow Dr. White on Twitter @JamesEmeryWhite.

The 'Best' Religious Joke