Men and Women Open Up about Spouses Who Left to Pursue Homosexual Relationships

Carrie Dedrick | Wednesday, July 8, 2015

Men and Women Open Up about Spouses Who Left to Pursue Homosexual Relationships

Men and women whose spouses left them to pursue homosexual relationships are speaking out after a Supreme Court decision that legalized gay marriage across the United States. 

A woman named Emma told the BBC her husband was called “brave” after coming out, but she does not agree. 

"It feels almost homophobic to say anything about them. To me it's not brave to spend 10 or 20 years with someone only to destroy and discard them," she said. 

"They may go on and have a wonderful new life while leaving a crushed wife behind. You just feel like your whole life is wasted and there's no closure."

Another woman said her husband was called inspirational and a role model after he left her in 2010. 

"I was disgusted by this, that someone actually considered him to be both of these things when he had spent our entire relationship lying to both himself and myself,” said Carol, 43. 

She continued, "It took me a long time to get over it, for me it is a trust issue. How can I trust anyone again? I can't compete with other men, I'm a woman, but he should have been truthful from the start.” 

A man named Kevin said his wife of seven years asked him if he would okay with her having a girlfriend; he was not aware that she was gay. 

"If a partner has an affair with the opposite sex you can be angry but this is so much more complicated. She'd been feeling like this for two years but said nothing," he said.

Kevin said that the relationship ended with a feeling of failure and became suicidal. 

Carol said that she would advice people who are experiencing same-sex attraction while involved in a heterosexual marriage to be honest with themselves. 

"You have to be honest with yourself and your partner, especially when kids are involved. Not knowing your own sexuality and taking time to decide hurts everyone involved. Be true to who you are," she said. 

Publication date: July 8, 2015