“Duck Dynasty” matriarch Miss Kay says she considered suicide after her husband Phil Robertson accused her of infidelity, Kay writes in her new book, “The Women of Duck Commander.”
She says that the grace of God helped her decided against suicide.
"I hit rock bottom," Kay writes. “I have never felt as totally hopeless as I did that night. I simply could not see any way out of a terrible situation or the boys and me. I finally accepted the fact that I could not fix our lives and had no one to help."
While she was able to deal with Phil’s heavy drinking, she was hurt most when he accused her of an affair. She says she locked herself in the bathroom.
“I realized I just wanted to go to sleep for a long time,” she says. “I did not consciously want to kill myself, I just wanted to take enough Tylenol … to have a nice, long rest. I just didn't want to live anymore … if I could just go to sleep and not wake up. And I wanted to scare the daylights out of Phil," she wrote. "I wanted to punish him for everything that he had put me through. I told myself I didn't care if I slept forever, but deep down I don't think I really wanted to die."
Instead, she said that God intervened.
"Through my sobs I heard the sound of little feet headed toward the bathroom door. I could tell all three boys in their house shoes were coming to talk to me," she said.
"In an instant it was like a light bulb came on for me. ‘What am I doing?' I asked myself. 'I have three little boys. I can't leave them with a drunk.'"
“The Woman of Duck Commander” is available now. “Duck Dynasty” airs on A&E.
Publication Date: April 11, 2014.
Amanda Casanova is a writer living in Dallas, Texas. She has covered news for ChristianHeadlines.com since 2014. She has also contributed to The Houston Chronicle, U.S. News and World Report and IBelieve.com. She blogs at The Migraine Runner.