3 'Ministers' Say Premarital Sex, Hookups Are 'Not Sinful', Declare Purity Is an 'Outdated and Silly Expectation'

Sarah Curlee | Crosswalk.com | Tuesday, December 4, 2018
3 'Ministers' Say Premarital Sex, Hookups Are 'Not Sinful', Declare Purity Is an 'Outdated and Silly Expectation'

3 'Ministers' Say Premarital Sex, Hookups Are 'Not Sinful', Declare Purity Is an 'Outdated and Silly Expectation'


Three false ministers, including one who is polyamorous and another who identifies as homosexual, opened up about their controversial beliefs in a recent interview with The Huffington Post. 

The trio maintains the belief that engaging in sex before marriage is “not sinful”, but that it is “unreasonable,” “outdated and silly” to wish for people to remain virgins until marriage. One of the three noted that he does not “judge” those individuals who make the decision to participate in random hookups (even though he chooses not to do so himself). 

The three individuals interviewed were Brandan Robertson, an openly gay man who leads San Diego’s Mission Gathering Christian Church; Chalice Overy, an associate pastor at Pullen Memorial Baptist Church in Raleigh, North Carolina; and a man identified simply as Michael, who states that he is dating one man and three women at the moment while serving as a clergyman in San Antonio, Texas. 

The article, titled “We Asked Ministers What It’s Like to Date Today. Here’s What They Said”, was written by Brittany Wong.

Robertson was the first to comment, stating: “I think the evangelical church world that I come from has taught some really unhealthy ideas about sex and sexuality, and I spend a lot of my time trying to deconstruct ‘purity culture’ in favor of a healthier, more holistic view of sexuality.” No stranger to controversy, Robertson sparked debate in 2011 for his pro-homosexual views during his time as a student at Moody Bible Institute. He later graduated with a Bachelor of Arts degree in pastoral ministry and theology.   

“I believe for some people, waiting for marriage before having sex can be a very healthy path. I also believe that for most people, sex before marriage is a healthy expression of the gift of sexuality and is not ‘sinful’ or morally wrong,” he mentioned.
Overy’s shared views similar to Robertson’s.

“I honestly think it’s unreasonable to expect people to wait until they are married to have sex if we expect people to make thoughtful decisions about who they marry,” she established, although mentioning that she favors a man who “wants to get to know me, not just my body.”

“But if we are willing to do the spiritual and emotional work of intimacy, should we deny ourselves the joy of physical intimacy? I don’t think so,” Overy noted.

Michael, a divorced man, said that his church has knowledge of the multiple relationships in which he participates, and goes on to mention that he has been involved in polyamory since his youth. 

“One of the worst things the Church has done is take God and the Divine out of the bedroom and shame people for their desires and practices,” he stated. “I have always believed that contractual arrangements (including marriage) are not the boundary on sex—our own personal ethics are.”

“Most of the single clergy I know have sex, even when the rules of their denomination prohibit it,” Michael noted. “It simply is an outdated and silly expectation, in my opinion. Like anything else, sex can be manipulative, unhealthy or used as a power differential. Sex, or even dating without sex with a congregant is never okay because of the power differential. Within relationships of equals or with agreed-upon boundaries, though, it is healthy and beautiful.”

Robertson, Overy and Michael went on to say that they do not have a problem when it comes to engaging in a relationship with someone who is not a Christian—in fact, they said that they would actually prefer to do so. Robertson then brought up his use of dating apps, on which he emphasized the “normal-ness” of his life (outlining his interests, which include “craft beer, going clubbing [and] traveling.” Michael said that he prefers to date agnostics and atheists, and those who “at the very minimum, question the historic faith.”

An article from Christian News, however, serves as a reminder that the teachings of the Bible go against—aside from forbiddance on homosexuality, such as in Romans 1:26-27—engaging in premarital sex in various Scriptures, and adamantly cautions that individuals who involve themselves in unrepentant fornication will be unable to inherit the kingdom of God.

Ephesians 5:3-6 warns, “But fornication, and all uncleanness, or covetousness, let it not be once named among you, as becometh saints, neither filthiness, nor foolish talking, nor jesting, which are not convenient, but rather giving of thanks. For this ye know, that no whoremonger, nor unclean person, nor covetous man, who is an idolater, hath any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God. Let no man deceive you with vain words, for because of these things cometh the wrath of God upon the children of disobedience.”

Similarly, 1 Thessalonians 4:1-8 informs, “Furthermore then, we beseech you, brethren, and exhort you by the Lord Jesus, that as ye have received of us how ye ought to walk and to please God, so ye would abound more and more. For ye know what commandments we gave you by the Lord Jesus. For this is the will of God, even your sanctification, that ye should abstain from fornication, that every one of you should know how to possess his vessel in sanctification and honor—not in the lust of concupiscence, even as the Gentiles which know not God.”

“For God hath not called us unto uncleanness, but unto holiness. He therefore that despiseth, despiseth not man, but God, who hath also given unto us His Holy Spirit.”

Likewise, in 2 Timothy 4:3-4, Scripture declares, “For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine, but after their own lusts shall they heap to themselves teachers, having itching ears. And they shall turn away their ears from the truth, and shall be turned unto fables.”

Photo courtesy: Thinkstock

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