August 8, 2007
Anyone who has ever been through a checkout line at the supermarket is probably familiar with the cheesy tabloid, “Weekly World News.” It carries hilarious stories about Elvis sightings and alien visitations.
I am sad to report that “Weekly World News” has been taken over by aliens, sort of. The paper’s circulation has declined to the point where the owners are ceasing publication. Where will we go for headlines like “Blind Man Regains Sight and Dumps Ugly Wife” and “12 U.S. Senators are Space Aliens”? That one was posted in the Senate press gallery where reporters speculated that the number of Senatorial space aliens might actually be higher.
During the 2000 campaign, then-Governor Bush held up a copy of the “Weekly World News” that headlined, “Space Alien Backs Bush for President.” A picture showed them shaking hands.
There were other classics. Elvis’ tomb was empty and he’d moved to Kalamazoo, and the Hubble Telescope photographed Heaven. There was a picture. Personally, I liked “Adam and Eve’s Bones Discovered in Colorado.” Where will we go in the future for this kind of quality journalism?
Cal Thomas is a nationally syndicated columnist based in Washington, D.C.